Ah, Matt. Good luck with the melons. Tried to tell you that it’s not the right time to plant the melons, or the right way, but you wouldn’t listen. [W]ait till April, replant with dry cakey soil and on mounds that are mulched with plastic gunk. (SOURCE: Jan Norris)
Former Food Editor Doubts My Ability to Grow Watermelons
In late February, I planted watermelons seeds in my garden annex. Immediately, the hating started. Jan Norris, a self-proclaimed expert in Florida Food said there was no way in hell I’d get watermelons. She laughed in my general direction and mocked my seeds.
I didn’t have to water the first couple weeks, what with all the peeing she was doing on my garden parade.
Patience is a Farming Requirement
When I caught the first glimpse of my nugget-sized watermelon last week, I was not yet ready to declare victory. It was still too soon.
Today, however, with watermelons just about six inches tall, I’m here to say I have crushed Norris. She shall not repress my watermelon.
Even if the watermelon stops growing today (it has about 15 days left), it is still edible and, probably, tasty.
Here is the Watermelon Jan Norris Will Not Be Eating:
Who Hates Your Raised Vegetable Garden?
Are you, too, suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous vegetable fortune? Tell me who hates your garden and why.
I think Norris is just jealous.
—Farmer Matt
Tags: 12 Comments
You had better rig your live Tomato Cam to be able to see in the dark.
I can see Jan sneaking into the backyard under the cover of darkness to pour salt on your poor, unprotected garden.
She does not concede defeat easily or with class.
There are so many squished mulberries in my back yard, anyone who attempts to steal my watermelon will leave an easy to follow trail of purple footprints.
— Farmer Matt
You are my intake , I have few web logs and occasionally run out from to post : (.
Your foot in a tar bucket! You are singularly the most stubborn sort I’ve met. I bet I can muster a crowd of others including your two spawns to back me up!
Nice pair of melons (never thought I’d be saying that to a guy).
How many vines did you plant? Are you only getting 2 melons? They’re starting to look like the ones in the grocery. But I know they’ll taste better, since they came from your hard work. Enjoy.
I threw five seeds in the ground. Three turned into vines and two vines produced watermelons. There are still a bunch of yellow flowers but none seem to be turning into melons.
The seeds cost about $1.70 at Lowes. Let’s allocate $8 worth of water to the melons. If I get two good sized melons, I’m ahead of where I would have been if I bought them at the store.
—Farmer Matt
Wow, she hates your garden huh? Well, I believe adversity will make your plants stronger in the long run. Enjoy your gloating!!
Lots of people hate my garden, Kara.
Some just don’t understand (Dani). Some are tools of Big Grocery (Mark). Others are just jealous of my melons (Norris).
Farming isn’t for the thin-skinned.
—Farmer Matt
Jealous of your melons? Hmmm… Not heard that from a guy before… 😀
All these posts and none by Norris. Hmmmm.
I suspect she is green with envy.
Might I suggest you give her one, let her taste it and review it on her sight. She might choose this as a title: “How it is that home-grown watermelons taste a little bit like crow.”
I, Jan Norris, concede defeat! And yes, I’m jealous of your melons, kinda sorta.
I’m actually so proud of your gardening prowess, Matt — even though it’s a throw-it-in-the-ground and hope mentality.
Cheerleading over. Next year, do corn, peas, and more beans. And radishes for me, please. I have a terrific “bread and butter radish” pickle recipe I want to do and homegrown food inspires me. I might have to do my own raised bed of stuff: green lady peas, big eggplant, zucchini, beefstake tomatoes, and Dixie scuppernongs – I miss them dearly.
Hmm: Wonder if you can grow peanuts this far south…boiled peanuts …whoo hoo baby!
Too funny! Your watermelons look beautiful. I live in Fort Lauderdale. I wonder if I could grow some watermelon or maybe canteloupe?! Something like that?
Oh, and I have a cucumber question for you. I’m going to look for your e-mail…